Liberal Girlfriends, Conservative Wives

To me, it is no secret that today's woman is more ambitious, more forthright, more intelligent, more confident and more zealous than ever before. Most women today do not allow themselves to be shut out of pursuing the "American Dream". Savvy, goal-oriented women possess all the tools or can obtain the adequate resources to turn any dream into a reality. You see more women today with their own houses (plural), their own cars (plural), investments, business ventures, etc. Ironically, it seems that a disproportionate number of these women are single (either never been married or divorced).


A successful single woman with just about everything going for her makes you want to ask the question, "Why is she single?" We've already talked about how men are many times intimidated by well-to-do professional women. These men run from the notion of a woman making more money and having more status than him. Some women, tired of continuously seeing men shy away from them, begin a more aggressive pursuit of the right man for them. When she finally "catches" who she feels is the ideal man for her, seems like she all of a sudden opens up the floodgates of her possessions to him in order to keep him. Let's analyze this.


First, let's clarify that we are currently talking about a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship (we will deal with the husband-wife relationship later on). The characteristics and personality traits of this man along with his stable career path and potential leadership capabilities make him extremely compatible to this now joyous woman. Similar to a fisherman catching that rare prize fish, the woman wants to do everything she can to appease this man and keep him around. She may let him drive her car; she'll pay for meals; she'll let him stay over at her house and here's the biggie: she'll just about do anything in the "bedroom" (use your imagination; I'm trying to keep this article clean!). Seems like nothing is off limits with the girlfriend.

Things are going so well with this couple that the man makes the ultimate decision and pops the big question to which the woman ecstatically accepts. They walk the aisle (jump the broom), go on the romantic honeymoon and finally settle down together in the house. Somewhere down the line, the transformation begins with the woman. For some reason, she is not as generous with her possessions as she was before; she does not cook meals as much anymore and here's the biggie: she got "bedroom time" virtually on lockdown! What happened? Now that you have the man legally committed to you, you don't feel obligated to share yourself with him anymore? How are you going to be sporadic in giving your husband some conjugal time and then expect him not to have an affair? Bottom line: How come you had your legs and lips open as a girlfriend, but your legs and lips closed as a wife?

What are your thoughts on this? Please click on the word COMMENTS below and give us your thoughts. After you type your comment in the box, drill down to "Anonymous" and your comment will post after approval. Thank you for your participation!

"Halle Berry" or "The Lady Next Door"?

Many a man dreams of just meeting a beautiful, high-profile female celebrity like Halle Berry. If you ever attended an event where she was a guest, you'd see the "Marry me Halle" signs all over the place. Now, how many of these men would actually want to marry a Halle Berry and what would be the motivation for this?

Halle Berry's role in the movie "Monster's Ball" gave the noted actress heightened credence and made her even that more acceptable and attractive to a great number of men, particularly white men. Now, as much as marrying someone like a Halle Berry may seem like a dream come true, in reality it could turn into a devilish nightmare. The lure of the fame and fortune can overshadow all the baggage she can introduce into a new relationship. Berry has been divorced twice, so what makes you think "the third time will be the charm"? Let's not forget that the media will have cameras and microphones all in your face day and night. Plus, if you want to marry her strictly for the money, that does not make you much of a real man. Bottom line, in my opinion, Halle Berry is overrated especially in terms of being a long-term mate.

So, let's talk about the "lady next door". She is your everyday, professional-style woman with a solid job/career; very confident in herself and knows what she wants. Here is someone that if you invest time in her, she will do the same for you and both of you can build a solid relationship. If her past personal life is stable, there should be very little drama to deal with. Here is a key point: similar to "Halle Berry", the professional woman may make more money than you, but are you going to let that factor intimidate you and influence your relationship decision making? Women are looking for men who can provide not just the tangibles (material things), but can provide more of the intangibles (emotional and intellectual companionship).

So, what would you choose? Let's hear from you! Please click on the word COMMENTS below and give us your thoughts.

Lessons Learned from McNair Drama

Former Tennessee Titan and Baltimore Raven quarterback Steve McNair was shot to death in a reported murder-suicide in Nashville, TN on the morning of Saturday, July 4, 2009. The young lady suspected of shooting McNair several times before turning the gun on herself has been identified as Sahel Kazemi, a 20-year-old acquaintance of McNair. Convicted murderer Adrian Gilliam, Jr. allegedly sold the gun to Kazemi two days before the incident.



A week after McNair’s murder, former world boxing champion Arturo Gatti was found strangled to death in a hotel room in Brazil. Police have charged his 23-year-old wife with his murder.

The Steve McNair case still has some people scratching their heads. It seemed like the man had everything going for him. A successful NFL career; a good wife; 4 handsome boys in the house I'm sure he loved and adored. What in the world made him stray to this young 20-year old thing who seemingly had nothing going for her? What is the attraction to someone who on the surface did not seem to have anything in common with him? Well, in my estimation, there must have been some trouble in his marriage for him to seek comfort from another woman. Of course, being a high-profile professional athlete will make you attractive to many of the opposite sex (even those of the same sex, but that is another discussion). Curiosity is certainly a viable factor, but that should not persuade one to engage in inappropriate activity. Considering the reported facts in this case, this appears to be a probable case of "fatal attraction". McNair may have tried to break it up with Kazemi and she took the stance of: "If I can't have you, no one can."

Who knows what happened with Gatti; but it looks like the wife shot him down (no pun intended) before he could get in any trouble. What are your thoughts? Click on the word COMMENTS below and let's hear from you.

Separate Vacations

As the summer season rapidly approaches, many families prepare to take that long awaited break from work, from school, from daily home life. Popular vacation destinations include the beach, the mountains, an amusement park, maybe a cruise or a cross country trip in a recreational vehicle. But, here's the question: how many of you actually feel like you need a break from your family? Sure, you love spending time with your spouse and children whenever possible; but do you ever get the urge for some prolonged "me time"? Is there really anything inherently wrong with taking a vacation with your friends or even by yourself? Ladies: how many of you have longed for that Jamaican get-away with the girls; Men: how many of you wish you could take that deep-sea fishing trip with the fellas?

Let's hear what you think! Please click on COMMENTS below and let's continue the conversation.

What's his is mine, but what's mine may not be his

Ladies: Your husband has worked hard all his life and has a good job with benefits. He has a healthy life insurance policy which he entrusts to you upon his death as you would expect. Your husband truly wants the best for you and your children in the unfortunate event he departs from this life in sudden fashion.

Now, you also have contingency benefits such as life insurance, short-term/long-term disability, etc. You feel the same way about having the best for your children, but for some reason, you do not totally feel the same way about your husband. This is evident from hearing statements such as: “I ain’t leaving him nothing!”; “All my money is going to my kids!”. What is the reasoning for this? What has this man done so wrong to you that you’re basically going to leave him high and dry in the event of your sudden death? If he has done something to you that you feel has hurt you that bad, then why are you still married to him now? This is puzzling! Ladies, please help me out! Please leave your responses below; let’s hear your comments.

Reconciling with the Mistress

The husband has an affair. The mistress wants to reconcile with the wife. If you are the wife, how do you handle this delicate situation that can easily become explosive? We want to hear ALL points of view on this one! Please leave comments below. Thanks!

Sex Does Not Always Mean Intimacy

***WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT***

Seemingly, men and women show their expressions of love in very different fashions. On average, more women utilize their emotions while men rely more on physical expressions of love. Women possess more of an ability to tap into their emotions and extract intimacy into their relationships. Therefore, women place more value on intimacy as an important companionship component.

Now, not all women fit this category. In fact, some women (maybe more than many may think) prefer to express intimacy similar to the majority of men which is through explicit sexual contact. Instead of a romantically written letter or some cuddle up time in the bed, some believe excessive clitoral and/or vaginal stimulation or a climactic explosion of semen is the way to express intimacy to their mate. Is a 10-inch long, 2-inch thick penis or dildo really an adequate substitute for a gentle whisper of "sweet nothings" in your ear while cuddled up on the sofa on a cold winter evening? You can get your freak on; smackin' up, flippin' it, rubbin' and strokin' whatever you like; and "bang bang bang" all night until you sweat off 5 pounds, but you have to invest some quality time and be really creative in order to show your mate your true intimate side.

So, what's your take on this? We wanna hear from you. Click on the word "COMMENTS" below and let's continue the conversation.