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Monday, August 10, 2009

"Halle Berry" or "The Lady Next Door"?

Many a man dreams of just meeting a beautiful, high-profile female celebrity like Halle Berry. If you ever attended an event where she was a guest, you'd see the "Marry me Halle" signs all over the place. Now, how many of these men would actually want to marry a Halle Berry and what would be the motivation for this?

Halle Berry's role in the movie "Monster's Ball" gave the noted actress heightened credence and made her even that more acceptable and attractive to a great number of men, particularly white men. Now, as much as marrying someone like a Halle Berry may seem like a dream come true, in reality it could turn into a devilish nightmare. The lure of the fame and fortune can overshadow all the baggage she can introduce into a new relationship. Berry has been divorced twice, so what makes you think "the third time will be the charm"? Let's not forget that the media will have cameras and microphones all in your face day and night. Plus, if you want to marry her strictly for the money, that does not make you much of a real man. Bottom line, in my opinion, Halle Berry is overrated especially in terms of being a long-term mate.

So, let's talk about the "lady next door". She is your everyday, professional-style woman with a solid job/career; very confident in herself and knows what she wants. Here is someone that if you invest time in her, she will do the same for you and both of you can build a solid relationship. If her past personal life is stable, there should be very little drama to deal with. Here is a key point: similar to "Halle Berry", the professional woman may make more money than you, but are you going to let that factor intimidate you and influence your relationship decision making? Women are looking for men who can provide not just the tangibles (material things), but can provide more of the intangibles (emotional and intellectual companionship).

So, what would you choose? Let's hear from you! Please click on the word COMMENTS below and give us your thoughts.


  1. Dave, while you make some valid points, I find it interesting that you refer to the women making more money, some of us are not what you would call professional women, but we are classy, handle our business and have investments, etc... retirement, etc... the issue I find with men is that they become intimidated when you are able to care for yourself and them. Not in the sense of being the breadwinner in the family; just in the fact that when they meet you, you are not needy. You needs financially are being met, where some men fall off is in the area of emotional and intellectual. They either want you to carry those areas of the relationship or they just are immature and unable to give women that necessary level of emotional, intellectual, and intimacy that is needed. I too have done my research and am still researching and I find it interesting at the lack or the ability or even willingness of men to get healthy especially black men.

    See they want us to come to the relationship whole, healthy with no baggage, but they seem to come with all of the above and then some. Sometimes they don't know or even want to be told that they have some issues that need to be addressed so that they can get healthy.

    As for the girl next door, that is a wonderful fantasy. As long as some men live in that fantasy world and try to hold beautiful, smart, funny, sincere women to a standard that even they can't attain it will always be an issue and a question. What do you think?


  2. Hello Inspire:

    I totally agree with you that men fall short in the area of emotional and intellectual compatibility; and unfortunately the trend appears to continue in that direction. The income issue is a matter of pride for the man - he wants to feel like he's taking care of his woman. Really, it's an "ego" thing. If you trounce on a man's ego, he really feels crushed.

    As for the lady next door, I do not feel that it is a "fantasy" to want and find a career-minded, confident, beautiful, smart, funny, upstanding woman with morals and values. The fantasy is probably finding the type of man who wants a woman like this.

    Thanks so much for your comment and participation! Look for a new article: "Liberal girlfriends, conservative wives". Coming soon!


  3. Hmm...Halle Berry or the Lady next door? Does the lady next door have as many problems as Halle Berry? Beauty isn't everything so it depends on what you're willing to give up to get it.