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Thursday, March 12, 2009

Silence or Arguments: Which is more golden?

You are having a discussion with your spouse/mate. Words and feelings are being exchanged and in the process, the conversation becomes heated. You are determined to get your point across and to make your feelings known - in great and intricate detail. When you finish expressing your thoughts, you turn to your mate looking for a response, but receive nothing but utter silence. You pause for a moment and may think, "He/she has nothing to say?; Why are they looking at me like I'm crazy?; Are they ignoring me?; Do they even care?"

There is an old adage that says, "silence is golden". This may be applicable in certain situations such as not responding to someone who is making disagreeable remarks about an issue; especially if you are at work or in a place where it would be awkward or uncomfortable to start a debate. However, many will agree that communication is a key element in maintaining a successful relationship. Instead of remaining silent and keeping all that vent up frustration inside until you reach the boiling point, your mate would rather see you express your feelings more immediately, even if it is in an argumentative fashion, so they'll know what is going on in your head and in your heart. Then, after the argument, when things simmer down a bit, you may be surprised to get a little post-argument make-up "treat" (bang bang bang).

When it comes to communication with your mate, silence is not golden but rather it is yellow like the color of piss. If your mate gives you the silent treatment during an argument, it feels like you are being pissed on. Now, let's hear your responses. Please click on the "COMMENTS" below and continue the conversation. All points of view welcome and encouraged. Thanks!


  1. I would definitely say that silence is a death kiss in a relationship. When I stop talking it means I am done. Nothing left to say, your days are numbered. I have also used it as a passive agressive tactic to make my significant other even more angry.

  2. Maybe they are being silent because they don't want to say something they will regret later. Sometimes it is better to take a break and let things cool down before you share your feelings. As long as it is not viewed as the "silent treatment." Let your significant other know you want to talk about it later.