Men's Fear of Rejection

Ladies: you meet a man at a club, bar, restaurant, etc.; you initiate conversation with him and just at the moment you express some interest in him, he seems to get very nervous, he stutters over his speech, seems to become clumsy and just overall falls apart. What is that all about? Are men really so scared of rejection that they lose their composure then they feel they find an ideal woman? Let's examine this topic for a few moments.

Some of this reasoning refers back to items mentioned in a previous post. The ego factor is a major contributor in assessing men's behavior around women. In the man's mind, he feels the need to display to the woman that he knows how to handle his business and can take care of her as well. In the process, he wants to make sure all his "i's are dotted and t's are crossed" thus, the subsequent nervousness surfaces.

Now, let's take a look at the woman's perspective on this. Women tend to subtly be detail-oriented when it comes to examining men. For example, they will ask questions to themselves like: "Is his hair neatly groomed? Is he color-coordinated? Are his shoes clean/new? Does he wear brand-name clothing? Does he have all his teeth? Is his breath bad?" etc. Some women will even go as far as check to see if the man has a "bulge" sufficient enough to suit their taste. Although all these questions are visually asked within a few seconds, when a man feels like he is being thoroughly checked out, that's when the nerves kick into high gear and it becomes an all-out attempt to keep that woman from saying "no".

What is your take on this? Please click on the word "COMMENTS" below and let's continue the conversation. All points of view are welcomed and encouraged. Reminder: you can leave an anonymous comment if you choose. Thanks!

Seeing Beyond "Sexy"; What are you saying?

This is a spin-off from the "proper introduction" post down below. In recent conversations with some of my female colleagues, it seems that a great number of men these ladies meet for the first time have a tremendous failure to communicate. Apparently, none of these men read my post on how to make a proper introduction. Of course, my idea of a proper introduction may be too "professional" for their taste. Instead, I am being told the first thing that comes out of the guy's mouth is: "Damn, you sexy!" (or some rendition thereof).

Using introductory statements and phrases that refer to a woman's sex appeal and/or to her superior body (private) parts portrays an intention of immediately pursuing sexual relations even though there has been very little verbal communication other than, "Damn, you sexy!" or "Damn, you gotta phat booty." This is so inappropriate! Again, fellas, let's start with a "hello" or "hi" followed by your name and some sane type of ice-breaker conversation that does not have any sexual overtones. If you start off the interaction in the incorrect manner, you will doom the relationship and it will never get started. Ladies, if you run into guys that feed you this crap, keep it moving!

All supporting and opposing points of view are welcomed and encouraged. Please click on the word "COMMENTS" below.

Making an Effective Introduction

Since this is the first post to this blog, I thought it would be appropriate to begin with an "introductory" type topic. Many of you have heard the expression: "First impressions are lasting impressions". This is truly applicable when it comes to individuals introducing themselves to other for the first time; in particular, men initially introducing themselves to women. In some circles, this process is referred to as "stepping to". Different men use various methods when they are about to "step to" a lady. Some men attempt to impress women with a rough-style approach by utilizing a thuggish "gangsta" appearance; while others have a smooth and suave approach which encompasses a combination of a confident swagger along with flirtatious and flattering speech. While some men (some would argue 'a lot of men') have "no game" at all.

In my experiences (most of my comments are based on my experiences), the most effective approach for a man to take is the one that will be best received by the woman based on her particular taste. In other words, you could more simply say, "birds of a feather flock together". Let's say, for example, you are attending an after hours social event at a bar/restaurant where the majority of people there appear to be working professionals dressed in suits or business casual attire. A woman there would most likely be turned off by a man who tried to step to her using the "gangsta" approach. In this setting, a man should properly introduce himself by giving his real name (at least his first name; no crazy nicknames), extend his hand for a gracious handshake and use an effective ice-breaker tactic like bringing up the latest current events. Mature, professional ladies love a man that can carry a great conversation, doesn't totally center the topic of conversation around himself, has a non-corny sense of humor, .....and for crying out loud can ya SMILE fellas? A smile at just the right time can be contagious and will lighten the atmosphere. The key word is personality. Making a personality connection is essential in making a favorable impression on a man or a woman.

Now, let's hear your thoughts on this. Click on the word "COMMENTS" below to leave your input. Remember, all comments are encouraged and welcomed, but please keep them within the blog guidelines. Thanks!