The Mistress Gets Richer

Families spend more time together during the holiday season (here defined as any time between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day) than any other time during the calendar year.  One of the highlights of this time period is the gift giving process.  Everyone, especially young children, is excited to see what "Santa Claus" (there may be young kids reading this!) put under the tree for them. 

Wives may be excited to see what their husbands thought to get for them.  However, they may really be intrigued if they found out some other items the man bought - gifts for his mistress.  Click on the following link to read an article in the NY Daily News about how much more some men spend on their mistresses than on their wives:
http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2010/12/13/2010-12-13_mistresses_get_more_lavish_holiday_gifts_than_wives_survey_shows.html
Of course, one prevelant reason for this is men's lack of faith in monogomous relationships and obsession with having multiple women in their arsenal regardless of the man's marital status.  It could also be a control issue or a case of bragging rights amongst male colleagues. 

But, how does the wife factor into this equation?  Here is an example:  a begrudging wife plus a disgruntled husband equals a very satisfied mistress.  Ladies:  you think you have enough of a strangle hold on your marriage that you don't believe your husband will stray away to find happiness elsewhere?  You may need to evaluate your overall relationship status and step your game up to prevent your man from glamorizing another woman with lavish gifts and praise while leaving you with the scraps. 

As always, we want to hear from you!  Click the word COMMENTS below to leave your response.  You DO NOT have to give your name or any login info to leave comments on the blogspot.  Hit me up on Facebook (Dave Jerrido) and watch for the video on YouTube.  Thank you!

The Beauty Intimidation Factor

In a previous post, we discussed the reasons why men shy away from dating and/or marrying professional women.  Right now, we want to focus on a specific point somewhat related to this topic.  Consider the above mentioned professional woman who has just about everything going for her (well-educated, good job/career, own house, own car, etc.).  You want to make an attempt to inititate casual communication with this woman, but when you look at her, you mind just goes:  "She is drop dead gorgeous!  There's no way she is single.  If she is, why?"  You also may ask yourself, "Am I wasting my time trying to talk with this woman?  What would she see in me?  Am I up to her standards?" 

I am choosing to call this the Beauty Intimidation Factor (BIF).  How does BIF come into play when trying to make a move on a woman?  Ladies:  have you ever felt this way when trying to talk to a man?  Or, do you consider yourself in this category and feel you have had men not talk to you because of the BIF?  Should men just "man-up", overcome their fears and step up to the plate?  All men aren't really like this, or are they?  We need to hear your responses.  Click on the word COMMENTS below to leave your feedback. 

Convenient Acquaintances

You have individuals of the opposite gender at work, school or even church that you associate with regularly, but rarely see outside of that standard environment. When you do run into this individual (in a "non-standard" environment such as the supermarket or at the mall), you just happen to be with your mate/spouse, but for some reason you do not speak to this person.  You make clear eye contact with each other so you know pretty much for sure who that person is, but you still refrain from verbally acknowledging their presence. What is the reason for this?  Seems convenient to have this person as an acquaintance at work or school, but once you get around your spouse/mate and go out in public, you do not seem to have any other "acquaintances".  Is this normal behavior?  We need to hear from you on this issue. Please click on "COMMENTS" below to give your feedback.  You can leave an anonymous response if you wish.  Check me out on Facebook as well.

Liberal Girlfriends, Conservative Wives

To me, it is no secret that today's woman is more ambitious, more forthright, more intelligent, more confident and more zealous than ever before. Most women today do not allow themselves to be shut out of pursuing the "American Dream". Savvy, goal-oriented women possess all the tools or can obtain the adequate resources to turn any dream into a reality. You see more women today with their own houses (plural), their own cars (plural), investments, business ventures, etc. Ironically, it seems that a disproportionate number of these women are single (either never been married or divorced).


A successful single woman with just about everything going for her makes you want to ask the question, "Why is she single?" We've already talked about how men are many times intimidated by well-to-do professional women. These men run from the notion of a woman making more money and having more status than him. Some women, tired of continuously seeing men shy away from them, begin a more aggressive pursuit of the right man for them. When she finally "catches" who she feels is the ideal man for her, seems like she all of a sudden opens up the floodgates of her possessions to him in order to keep him. Let's analyze this.


First, let's clarify that we are currently talking about a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship (we will deal with the husband-wife relationship later on). The characteristics and personality traits of this man along with his stable career path and potential leadership capabilities make him extremely compatible to this now joyous woman. Similar to a fisherman catching that rare prize fish, the woman wants to do everything she can to appease this man and keep him around. She may let him drive her car; she'll pay for meals; she'll let him stay over at her house and here's the biggie: she'll just about do anything in the "bedroom" (use your imagination; I'm trying to keep this article clean!). Seems like nothing is off limits with the girlfriend.

Things are going so well with this couple that the man makes the ultimate decision and pops the big question to which the woman ecstatically accepts. They walk the aisle (jump the broom), go on the romantic honeymoon and finally settle down together in the house. Somewhere down the line, the transformation begins with the woman. For some reason, she is not as generous with her possessions as she was before; she does not cook meals as much anymore and here's the biggie: she got "bedroom time" virtually on lockdown! What happened? Now that you have the man legally committed to you, you don't feel obligated to share yourself with him anymore? How are you going to be sporadic in giving your husband some conjugal time and then expect him not to have an affair? Bottom line: How come you had your legs and lips open as a girlfriend, but your legs and lips closed as a wife?

What are your thoughts on this? Please click on the word COMMENTS below and give us your thoughts. After you type your comment in the box, drill down to "Anonymous" and your comment will post after approval. Thank you for your participation!

"Halle Berry" or "The Lady Next Door"?

Many a man dreams of just meeting a beautiful, high-profile female celebrity like Halle Berry. If you ever attended an event where she was a guest, you'd see the "Marry me Halle" signs all over the place. Now, how many of these men would actually want to marry a Halle Berry and what would be the motivation for this?

Halle Berry's role in the movie "Monster's Ball" gave the noted actress heightened credence and made her even that more acceptable and attractive to a great number of men, particularly white men. Now, as much as marrying someone like a Halle Berry may seem like a dream come true, in reality it could turn into a devilish nightmare. The lure of the fame and fortune can overshadow all the baggage she can introduce into a new relationship. Berry has been divorced twice, so what makes you think "the third time will be the charm"? Let's not forget that the media will have cameras and microphones all in your face day and night. Plus, if you want to marry her strictly for the money, that does not make you much of a real man. Bottom line, in my opinion, Halle Berry is overrated especially in terms of being a long-term mate.

So, let's talk about the "lady next door". She is your everyday, professional-style woman with a solid job/career; very confident in herself and knows what she wants. Here is someone that if you invest time in her, she will do the same for you and both of you can build a solid relationship. If her past personal life is stable, there should be very little drama to deal with. Here is a key point: similar to "Halle Berry", the professional woman may make more money than you, but are you going to let that factor intimidate you and influence your relationship decision making? Women are looking for men who can provide not just the tangibles (material things), but can provide more of the intangibles (emotional and intellectual companionship).

So, what would you choose? Let's hear from you! Please click on the word COMMENTS below and give us your thoughts.

Lessons Learned from McNair Drama

Former Tennessee Titan and Baltimore Raven quarterback Steve McNair was shot to death in a reported murder-suicide in Nashville, TN on the morning of Saturday, July 4, 2009. The young lady suspected of shooting McNair several times before turning the gun on herself has been identified as Sahel Kazemi, a 20-year-old acquaintance of McNair. Convicted murderer Adrian Gilliam, Jr. allegedly sold the gun to Kazemi two days before the incident.



A week after McNair’s murder, former world boxing champion Arturo Gatti was found strangled to death in a hotel room in Brazil. Police have charged his 23-year-old wife with his murder.

The Steve McNair case still has some people scratching their heads. It seemed like the man had everything going for him. A successful NFL career; a good wife; 4 handsome boys in the house I'm sure he loved and adored. What in the world made him stray to this young 20-year old thing who seemingly had nothing going for her? What is the attraction to someone who on the surface did not seem to have anything in common with him? Well, in my estimation, there must have been some trouble in his marriage for him to seek comfort from another woman. Of course, being a high-profile professional athlete will make you attractive to many of the opposite sex (even those of the same sex, but that is another discussion). Curiosity is certainly a viable factor, but that should not persuade one to engage in inappropriate activity. Considering the reported facts in this case, this appears to be a probable case of "fatal attraction". McNair may have tried to break it up with Kazemi and she took the stance of: "If I can't have you, no one can."

Who knows what happened with Gatti; but it looks like the wife shot him down (no pun intended) before he could get in any trouble. What are your thoughts? Click on the word COMMENTS below and let's hear from you.

Separate Vacations

As the summer season rapidly approaches, many families prepare to take that long awaited break from work, from school, from daily home life. Popular vacation destinations include the beach, the mountains, an amusement park, maybe a cruise or a cross country trip in a recreational vehicle. But, here's the question: how many of you actually feel like you need a break from your family? Sure, you love spending time with your spouse and children whenever possible; but do you ever get the urge for some prolonged "me time"? Is there really anything inherently wrong with taking a vacation with your friends or even by yourself? Ladies: how many of you have longed for that Jamaican get-away with the girls; Men: how many of you wish you could take that deep-sea fishing trip with the fellas?

Let's hear what you think! Please click on COMMENTS below and let's continue the conversation.